Pretty Narcissus

Blogging is a funny thing.

Right around the same time that I started this blog, we had our annual company summer party and, as the director of marketing, I'd hired a photographer to capture the event for our website. The photographer ended up with a number of pictures that included a friend of mine from the office. I asked if he wanted copies and he replied, "what me, narcissistic? Yes, please." I laughed at the time because I thought he was being kind of vain (if he's reading this now, he's going to be a little mad, but he'll recover...). But looking back at that incident, I realize that we're all narcissistic at times, it just manifests itself in different ways. I'd rather pour lemon juice into an open wound than look at photos of myself, but if someone compliments this blog? I'll preen for days.

It's been fun to get the kudos and even more fun to learn who's reading, especially when it's complete strangers. It makes me feel weirdly connected to the rest of the world. I have one friend who swears that her whole office is addicted to it. My uncle reports that a colleague of his (in California!) is most fond of my posts that refer to the Sox. My mom claims that she has all of her neighbors reading it. (But she's my mom, she has to say that.) Oh, and who can forget the incident when I learned that the actual chef I'd blogged about had read my entry when he e-mailed me. It makes you feel a bit like a celebrity and it's sickly thrilling.

Blogging can be viral - that's sort of the point, I guess - and when it is, it can be exciting, overwhelming, and even a little scary. As a self-labeled type-A, one thing I love to do is to check my blog's stats. I do this through Google Analytics, which is absurdly easy to use and offers more information than any weekend-blogger could ever possibly need. Late last week, I hopped on and checked out where my blog stood. I pulled up the main graph (which shows visits to the site) and I immediately thought that something was off. The graph was all out of whack. It had this giant spike on Friday. I played with the settings a bit, but I just couldn't figure out why the graph was all screwy. Then, I realized... it wasn't wrong. I'd gotten nearly two hundred hits that day. Now, in case you are thinking at this point, "why, Foodie, your blog is so compelling... you must get hundreds of site visits every day," let me assure you that, no, I don't. On an average day, I'll get between five and fifteen hits... and that seems like a lot to me!

After a little digging, I figured out that my post on Gaslight had been referenced on a site called Universal Hub and it directed a ton of traffic my way... at least for that day. I have no idea how the editors stumbled onto my blog or why they felt that my entry on Gaslight was worth reposting on their site (when, in fact, I feel like it's one of the weaker ones I've written...). This is what I do know... on Universal Hub, readers can comment on the content and comment they did - about me, about my blog, about my opinions. Gulp. Some were complimentary of my writing and agreed with my assessment of the restaurant (preen, preen, preen). Some disagreed and were even slightly insulting (jerks! meanies! dumba**es!). Whichever way they felt, it was clear that I was out there. Saying what I had to say and opening myself up peer review. And... all under my real name.

When I started this blog, I debated the name issue a bit. Should I include it? Was it wise to give out (even the most innocuous) details about my life - where I live, where I eat, what I do for a living - with my name attached? Isn't this exactly what all of those identity theft commercials warn you about?! I have a good friend who blogs about her family and her daily life and she uses code names for her husband and her daughter. The names are pretty cute - including one that she calls Cook. I'm dying to ask her the secret meaning behind them. It makes me wonder, if I'd gone that route, what names I would have given me and Paul? In my house, I guess I'd be Cook. Paul would be Sous-Chef. That's what I call him when we cook together. It's totally demeaning and it irritates him, which is, naturally, all of the incentive I need to keep doing it.

At any rate, obviously I didn't go that direction. I went ahead and used my name... I figure I'm out there on LinkedIn and Facebook, why not Blogger? I have a sort of informal rule, however, of only using my name and Paul's name (from whom I got explicit permission) - never any of the friends with whom we dine. I figure, knowing that I'll be reviewing the very food we're enjoying (or not) is pressure enough for one meal, much less feeling like they might be inadvertently thrust in the limelight (otherwise known as Universal Hub).

This is the six month anniversary of the blog and it's been an interesting ride. Despite all of the feedback (mostly good!), I really do still write it as much for myself as for anyone else. Though, I'd be remiss if I didn't admit that it's the anyone elses that make my heart skip a quick beat each time I click "publish post." It's true, I am pretty narcissitic about the blog. And what do I hope to see when I look at my reflection in the pool of water? Someone who is decent writer. Someone who can make others laugh. Someone who loves food so much that she tries to do the nearly impossible with it - put it to words and make it a story. A good one. I hope that, when you read the blog, you see a little of that too.

Thanks.