"I take objection to the word 'rodent.'"

Oh boy. Who's read today's Globe?

I woke up super late this morning (enjoying to the fullest my last day of a mini-break/long weekend that I took from work) and plodded downstairs. My husband, already caffinated and watching "Meet the Press," immediately says, "wait till you see the paper!" No "good morning," no "would you like some coffee?" (I would, thank you, guess I'll get it myself!), just, "look at the front page."

While not exactly the main front-page story, there it is - above the fold and all - a small photo of my beloved Mistral with a headline that includes the word "violations." Uh-oh. The article is a most unflattering expose of some local restaurants and their non-Health Code-friendly practices. Mistral is mentioned, as well as Figs, the Federalist, Union Oyster House, Clio, McCormick and Schmick, Top of the Hub, Aquitaine, Sonsie, Harvard Club, and Smith and Wollensky. Legal Seafood is also discussed, but in a positive light regarding to their commitment to cleanliness. What a PR nightmare for the others.

Now, I am about as far from a germaphobe as they get. Last week, at Fenway Park, my friend insisted we rinse our plastic spoons that came from a filthy, open bin before we ate our ice cream. This was a perfectly reasonable request. However, it was also something I would have never considered. I am a big believer in the idea that exposure to a few germs will build your immunities! With all of that said, even I was grossed out by more than one fact in the article.

The same ice used for customers' drinks also used to store bottles of wine? Kinda ew. Hollandaise kept below the acceptable temp? Ew! Meat and seafood thawing in the same water? Double ew! Wiping the edge of a plate heading out to the dining room with a sponge that was sitting in stagnant water? Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!!

While, as a diner, I am slightly put off by these things, there was actually another aspect of the story that I found even more offensive. I have spent the better part of my career in marketing, specifically with some amount of experience in PR. Negative stories about your product, company, service can be hard to control. What's not hard to control are your comments to the press.

First, on the PR-front, I have to give quick kudos to Jamie Mammano, the chef at Mistral. His comments, briefly summarized as, "we are very successful, but we know we screwed up on this, we're working to address it immediately," were an appropriate and well-formed response to the article. He actually managed to make Mistral come out looking ok, despite being at the center of this hugely damaging article.

Less successful? A few of his peers in the industry... without mentioning names (just read the actual article), remarks ranged from, "we've never had any problems and I am not going to discuss the problems we've had," to "it's not right to look at our record over the past few years and print it in the paper," to the all time best comment ever (in response to finding droppings in his restaurant), "I take objection to the word 'rodent.'" Oh my word. Listen, Mr. M, let's call a duck a duck and a mouse a mouse. I don't care if mice are cute with their little whiskers and pink noses (I totally kept a mouse when I was a kid... little Rodriguez was one of my favorite pets of all time!), we don't want them near us when we're spending $100 on dinner!

Well, this article was gross and upsetting, but it still doesn't quell my desire to go out to eat. I'll be out on Tuesday night (How can CORN be that good? I can't wait to see.) and trying not to look too closely at the floor. However, I am hopeful that it encourages some restaurants to literally and figuratively clean up their acts - at least until the next Sunday Globe comes out! Even more though, I hope the folks that gave those absolutely moronic comments get a call from the "main office" reminding them that they are representatives of their businesses and, next time, they should consider a little PR coaching before talking to the press. I am available for a steep hourly fee.